Loyalty Is Hard To Find These Days, huh?

Is there is anything else faster than time? Yes, literally speaking, I see none. Because as I write and you read this post at this exact moment, the time is already passed by. But we are not to realise that because it really is very subtle; noticing things that abstract when most of our senses are just aware of physical things, are difficult. But it kept moving fastly. Faster than a choo choo train.

"Enough speaking so philosophical already!", you would say. No, I just wanted to let you wander in your thought about how fast the time is. I, for instance, have just realised I haven't posted any new entries in this blog for like, a month already, when I thought it would've been just like, a week ago since I wrote the last post. But maybe all the workloads and busy-ness filled the empty spaces, and as a result I was like, got washed away by the turbulent waves of time and didn't actually realised it.

I was busy, yes. Not really as busy as crazy workaholics whose time are spent entirely tapping the keyboard and clicking the mouse all the time, just I feel so uncomfortable to write when my time table are tightly scheduled. So I ended up to be posting new posts only when I am off schedule, by which I mean, on a break, or holiday, or whichever that serves me a chance to be at my lovely home town, in Kuala Terengganu. Well, I am, right now.

Anyway, you readers (in case there's any) are most probably yawning in boredom right now, reading this crap, and whining like, whatever are this guy babbling about about his freaking boring life blah blah.. but to me, my blog is nothing but a dear, loyal and the best listener of mine. Every time I wanted to let my thoughts out on something, or just want to ease my mind, or just to be listened, I'll be here writing about it. 

Oh yes, speaking of loyalty, if someone ask me to define loyalty, I would profoundly state that "it is something that is nowhere to be found.." Figuratively, not literally..

And when talking about loyalty, or being loyal, people will quickly think it is all about relationships. Alright, lets go there. I am assuming whoever you are, you must have some experiences in dealing with relationship with the opposite sex, or lets just say it as "love", for at least once. Right? If so, tell me, does loyalty exists in your relationship? Do you love birds, have ever come across that she or he might be cheating on you? Or just simply, like somebody else secretly? Or maybe, seeing somebody else behind your back? Do you? Have you?

I ain't going to talk about my experiences, but the bottom line is, you either cheats, get cheated or think that you got cheated. Whichever you are it doesn't matter because in the end, any of them will become the reason that wreck your relationship. That is always how it ends, deal with it.

Sometimes it lingers in my train of thought that, we don't have to bother seeking to find "the other half of me",  not just because it is already fated, but also because if we do, most of the time it doesn't ends well. But then I realised we have to make some effort to gain it, because, “Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11)

As marriage is inevitable (I think..), so does the relationship that gonna lead to it, the question that rises is just how you are going to steer the wheel of the relationship. 

At the age of 20, I think there's nothing wrong for me to start talking about this stuff, I suppose. It will get to us all one day.


- Single, coz loyalty is still, nowhere to be found..

Learning To Be Better

I don't know what but I had this strange whisper in my head lately. The message was subtle, but apparently it  was a request. A request from inside myself, to myself, beseeching for a better me next semester.

"You know what, I think its time for a change, for both of you and me.."

It was right. This upcoming September I'll be turning 20, and being 20 means a little growing up. I mean, just think about it, what have I done for the past few years? Nothing. All the time, nothing but fooling around, enjoying my adolescence. And I think I had had enough.

Lets grow up for a little bit.

Out of sudden, a few weeks before the new semester session blazed its trail, I got a call that I was chosen to be in a leadership programme in Maran, Pahang with the other 60 participants. And I thought, ah, right in time. Maybe this can be a great start.

The programme lasted for six long days, but it was worthwhile. I don't think it is exaggerating to say that it was one of the best leadership camp I ever participated. Not only we were exposed to the true nature of leadership, but also the true nature of ourselves. The benefits goes both ways; as a leader, and as a Muslim personally.

When the new semester starts later on, I was allocated to be the leader for the second year student of ISA programme. To me, honestly, I don't think being in this position will be something that I can be proud of. Thinking about that much burden that I am going to carry on my back later on, that position is utterly nothing. Plus I never really had any experiences handling something bigger than a small tutorial class before, so I must be extra cautious about everything. But after all, I took the responsibility. I took it, and regarded it as a medium to develop myself, to be someone better.

Today, I challenged myself to becoming a MC (Master of Ceremony) of the Dean's Award Ceremony of my faculty, something I had never did before. And I did it. Up till this moment, I don't believe I did it. It was never something I intended to be, but I think, to be better, maybe I need to challenge myself to things I feared the most before, just like that. ( I had this phobia with talking in front of crowds)

I am not mentioning all of these because I am proud of myself, just I want you people to know that, the only thing that keeps stopping us from doing something that we should is, the guts. Something may seems impossible for you to do, but I believe all it needs is for you to take the first move. Just take the first move, and surely the others will be following. :)

You Don't Choose Your Career, Its The Other Way Around

Wednesday, July 25 2012, 0549

As the clock ticks and time flies, today, July 25 2012, is already day five in this holy Ramadhan. Wow, then. We are living in a quite fast paced life ain't we? It was just as yesterday when I was counting down to Ramadhan, then blink! all of sudden I'm already into the depth of it!

Well yeah, sometimes I, too, pondered on how fast the life is when we're so busy on something else. It is subtle but you'll quickly realise it as you looked back into time, and reminisce it, and couldn't help but found yourself already been dragged by time for quite a distance.


"Life is what happens while you're busy on something else.."


So I was just waiting for the adzan for Subuh to come, when I saw this old high school Yearbook of mine, all dusty on the shelf. 

Well, just to kill time, I thought maybe it would be great to take the "memorial tour". While slipping into a few pages and recall some of my old friends faces here and there, I didn't actually realise that I was actually smiling all the time like a freak. Why the heck not? Every faces I saw in that yearbook reminded me of a lot of funny things happened during my time at the school. Funny old friends, always had a thing for me.


Then I read a few lines below their pictures, you know, their biodatas and stuffs. Going to their ambitions, I couldn't help but realise that there are so many of my friends dreamt to be a doctor. And came to think of it, it makes sense, coz it was one of the most popular professions of all time.

But to think of what they are currently pursuing now, unfortunately most of the "doctors" in the Yearbook are not actually on the track to be one. A few of them are, like this Noor Aimi who is currently in a medical school in USIM, Hisham Mat who will be going studying in a medical school too in Ireland etc. The funny thing is, most of them ended up in somewhere not even related to medical field to be a doctor, like engineering school, piloting school, etc. Well, that deviates a lot.


But hey, it doesn't actually matters at all. Me myself, I don't get to be what I want too. When I was a kid I told everyone that I was going to be an engineer. An aircraft engineer, to be specific. But then, look what I've come to. I ended up in this computer science field, which of course, wouldn't by any chance will ever gonna take me to be aircraft engineer. So yes, I deviated too.

This is mine. (You can't read it don't you)

One of my artworks in it.

Disappointed coz you couldn't be what you dreamt to be? No need to man! Just get over it, and be the best in whatever you're in. Thats my philosophy.


"You don't choose the best career, the best career chooses you"


Now, I wanna be a software engineer. Insya-Allah:)

How To Lose Weight Efficiently

Hello everybody. Today I've got some tips for those who are still thinking on how to lose their weight. Products? Lipo-suction treatments? Hunger games? Bloody hell no man! These tips simply based on the concept of, "Drop what you don't need". Well here it is :


1. Remove one of your kidney.
Thats right people! You do know that you can live with just one kidney don't ya? So why the heck do you need to keep both of them, when it is just gonna cost you a few hundred grams? 


2. Poop regularly.
You might say this is kinda gross, but the more you poop, the less weight you will get! Based from a study it is reported that an average daily poop of a human weigh for about 2.5 pounds, and it is funny how you can get rid of 2.5 pounds of your whole body weight everyday just by pooping regularly!


3. Keep a short haircut.
You've read it right dude. From what I've read hair can weigh up to 3.0 ounce an inch, and nobody has an inch of hair pal! So if you're growing long hairs, you're gaining more weight! 


4. Bite your fingernails.
I lied about the biting, you can just cut it off. Do I have to mention about the weigh of the fingernails too?


Thats it dude! If you practice all of these, summing up, you have already lost a few pounds of weight in no time! Daa!

Another Year Flies

So altogether it has been 2 years since I took my very first step out of the school life, into a phase of life of an adult, which is still a little bit new to me, in this university. And awkwardly, I somehow feel that it is so surreal to be growing up and old, that fast. Sometimes, when I take a look at my identification card and realise that the year 1992 has gone for 2 decades, I was like, "Is this for real?"


Sometimes, when reminiscing all those memories I had when I was younger, I felt like crying. Going through the family photo albums page by page made me pondered, sunk deeply in thought. I just merely can't believe that cute boy in the blurry, old family photos has grown up into an adult, and he just happened to be, well, me. 


(Can't believe in 20 years time, all the cuteness would just, gone =.=")


The truth is, I miss the old me. I miss how naive, innocent I was, as opposed to what I am now. It is just hard to believe that in 20 years time, I would change by quite a lot. And of course I'm not talking about the physical change, but what lies inside. It is like an old, outdated Microsoft Windows 98 computer just got formatted and upgraded into Windows 7. All the old data and everything else that comes from the past is erased and replaced by the new ones. Unfortunately in my case, there are no backup files.  >.< 


Anyway, that is life. Time flies and life happens. Every second passed will be worthless unless you treasure every single moment of your life. And in the end, all that left is, memories. Right? WRONG!


Over the years I've been into, I would rather say that, memories is not the only thing remains as a result of the time. In fact, memories doesn't actually matter. FRIEND DOES.


In this university I found all sorts of friends; from the one that can be trusted to the wicked ones that would be happy just to see me fall. Through the years friendship blossomed and friendship collapsed. Betrayal, denial and all sort of trouble in relationship is, though imminent, yet still left a deep scar that takes ages to heal.

But it is in here too, that I met a friendship that is seeming to end as a wonderful memory of being together in me. Hopefully in a few decades time, whenever I take a look back in times, those memories that we had in this friendship will always carve a smile on our lips :)

Dear Math, Please Solve Your Own Problems. I Have Enough Of My Own.

You student? Then you, not unlike the other students regardless on what level they're in, knows there's always a subject, if not more, that is of your dislikes. Possibly because it is a subject that you find yourself hard to grasp it, or because the teacher in-charge is "not-so-friendly" (especially when you didn't finished the homework given) ,or merely because you're never interested in it. 

In every semester, there must be at least, for one subject. As for me, well, I don't find any subject that I really dislikes, up until I was introduced to a subject that they call, mathematics. And guess what, that subject keeps looming in my time table ever since my first day as a student, about 15 years ago in a lovely kindergarten, and still counting!

I don't have an exact reason why I don't like mathematics after all, it is just, well, I'm not really into it! I don't like dealing with numbers (unless when it comes to money) or anything that leads to the word 'calculating'. Statistics, Calculus, Logarithms, Derivatives, Functions etc, you name it, nothing will trigger my enthusiasm to study those. I just don't like it, and I'm damn sure my brain dislikes it too.

" A man bought 150 watermelons, 90 apples, 55 oranges and 20 lemons from a mart with an original price of RM1000. He paid with a price of 20% lower. 

Question: What is the selling price? "

Mathematics is ridiculous. It is the only place where people buy 150 watermelons and no one ever wonders why. LOL. 

Anyway thats a standard 6 math question. 5 years later the question evolved to be like this:

" A man bought 150 watermelons, 90 apples, 55 oranges and 20 lemons from a mart in Ontario, Canada with a price of RM1000. He want to sell those at his stall in Connecticut, USA with a price 20% higher.

Question: How far has he travelled? "

TETTT!! I beg to differ. The questions that should be asked is:

What he wanna do with that much watermelons, apples, oranges and lemons? Is he throwing a party or something? And why would he buy those in Canada, though his stall is at USA? Does USA ban the selling of those fruits in the country?

I'll solve the problem only when mathematics clarifies those things to me first.

Yeah, me and my logic. I wish I could do those. LOL

Corrupted Wake Me Up When September Ends version

My voice is sucks, so the supposed-to-be-nice-song turns into an annoying sound. Plus I forgot the lyrics.

I'm doing this out of boredom...

..and to satisfy a request :)

Friendship Over Love

Have you ever caught in a situation where you and your friend shared the same crush? Like, suppose you and your friend (and to make things worse, make it your best friend) secretly have this feelings towards the same girl and both of you didn't actually realise it. Then one day, you began to sense something was actually fishy about the way your best friend treated that girl. Soon after, you started the get the big picture as you take a look into his facebook activities (or in short, stalking him), and found he seemed to fancy that girl, as well as you are. 


What you think you would do?


To be frank I personally have no experience over things like this, since it never happened to me. But I do have an experience of handling a misunderstanding between me and one of my friend on things just as the same as this. The slight difference is, I have no feelings to that girl.

"About a year ago, during my foundation programme I was assigned to be in mentor-mentee group with this girl, one of my lecture mate. We were obligated to see our mentor every week and complete every tasks given, sometimes together. Which in short means, I had to stick with her for the whole mentor-mentee programme period. (It lasted for a few months)

This girl, well, I didn't know much about her. We never knew each other before from anywhere before that programme, and even during the programme, I didn't really talked much to her. But after a while, from some of my friends I learnt that the girl who I got to get stuck with for that period, actually have a boyfriend, which  is also a friend of mine. Well I was like, "Oh, I see", but I didn't sweat it because it utterly had nothing to do with me.

There was a day when that girl talked to me, and told me that she is having a problem with her boyfriend. She told me that their relationship is ruining. Well guess why? His boyfriend was jealous coz he often saw us together, but that is not the worst part. Worse, he blindly accused us for having a special relationship, which explained why he never greeted me for the whole semester. 

I was like, "So this whole thing happened coz he was jealous of me being together with her girlfriend, whom I hardly know, and suddenly accused us for having an affair that is starting to ruin their relationship and already kill our friendship ... and I don't even know a thing about this??" 

"And why on earth that he didn't face me personally and let me explain things up, despite of making his own assumptions, accusations and blind anticipations? I'm right here sharing the same hostel with him. It is awful it happened that way coz that thing doesn't even true!" 

The next few months, they broke up, and that girl left the university. But still, thinking of that, it is still painfully awful coz their relationship collapsed over a thing that is not true. Merely, just because of jealousy. How would you feel when suddenly you become the main reason over a ruined relationship, when you actually don't know anything about it? Painfully awful.. "

Back to the top, in a situation where you and one of your friend is in denial coz you both like the same person, I guess it is best for one of you to give in. To me, it is much better that way, than keep antagonising each other for years and ruining the friendship utterly. 


In such cases, "BMW"  always means "Best Man Wins". But it is not you nor your friend who's going to decide who's the best man. It is her decision. Whether you would be the one who give in for the sake of the friendship, or you keep fighting for the girl, she knows who's the best :)

Semester Break Syndrome

Packing up for home for a break? Instead of filling up the bags with cloths, you certainly bring along a few, if not much, loads of books, with an intention to study them at home later on. As far as I concern, I bet as a student we all do this, right? Yeah, of course we do.


But do we..? Well, for the umpteenth time, HECK NO.


*or maybe if you do, surely not all the books. Just some lucky books, and that is it. 


Every single time we were at home, we had always resisted to study. Reluctantly, sometimes we do, but not as much as we thought we would on the first place, when we were still packing up. Didn't it so? No surprise at all, because it simply happened every single time! Every single break we had, semester break, mid semester break, or any other kind they got for us, it happens. 


I can recall lots of myself doing this from the past semesters. Brought home a whole lot of books, but studied just a page or two of them. Worse, sometimes didn't even study any of them at all. But afterwards I still kept doing it back then; anticipating that I will study all of the books at home, but ending with not even touching any of them. 


Well, sometimes I thought maybe I shouldn't be bringing any of the books at all when I know that I wouldn't revise any of them later on, but I still brought back some of them anyway, just to relieve myself up. "Just in case I wanna study", I whispered to myself back then, but later on, that case was never a case, and presumably will never be a case. It never happened. 


I never got interested  to have revisions at home, sincerely spoken.


Put the blame on that much distractions we have at home; TV, Internet (though at the hostel we have it too, but at home it is conveniently pretty MUCH faster), Astro, video games, friends, tasty and completely free food(we don't have to think twice about the price of the food we have at home, we simply eat it all), comfy bed( it never is the same with the bed at the hostel! Nothing feels like home) naughty little sisters; everything!
I can always get away with all of the stuffs that I have at home, so I don't feel anything that will just fuel my study mood, frankly said. In the other words, HOME IS NOT A PLACE TO REVISE, regardless you're in a middle of an examinations or just not. It will never work, no matter how much book you brought back home. 



Unless you're really an uptight, well-disciplined person, that you've trained yourself to be adaptable to any situations regardless the place and time, regardless the conveniences you have at home, to study. To anyone who think he/she's like that,

LOL :D

Soften Up The New Guy

During my childhood times I got bullied a lot. They called the tradition as, "soften up the new guys", new,infirm and younger students would have to pay utmost respect to the elder and bigger students, and I was once a victim of the system. I was physically smaller than my other friends of my batch in my primary school, made me so much vulnerable to get bullied by those punks with a bigger physical. They took my food, isolated me, and told the others not to befriend with me. So I was alienated, I was always alone.

My father were well aware of this, and were always prudent about how I was doing in school. Whenever he fetched me and I came to him with teary eyes, he would wait for the punk to show up and rebuke him. And that eventually made me a "daddy's son"; whoever try to boss me would have to face my father, and face the music. Sooner as I was approaching 10, now one messed with me anymore. Thanks to my father :)

But time had not been good to me when I first got to my secondary school. During my early times there I met the real bully who assaulted me physically. He was a few years older, and of course physically, I was never in his league. He was much taller, strongly built. Me? I was just a skinny 154 cm tall boy on that time, and with the extremely low self esteem resulting from the awful experience of being bullied in primary school, of course anyone had the dare to toy me around. And my father wasn't around anymore for me to cling on, coz most of the times I went to school by my own. So I was totally on my own. 

And to mention what the bully had done to me, the "brotherhood general" had once strangled me with his strong hands when I accidentally bumped into him on my way to class. What a pathetic loser I was, but there's nothing I could do. No one ever backed me up.

When I was in form 3, the rascal left the school and since then, I never got my ass kicked anymore. And that was the end of me being bullied. 

Yeah maybe you'll just simply say that it was nothing, but if you were in my place, or in anyone's place that got bullied, you'll find it not so funny at all. Even when they already got out of the school where they got bullied, it would always left a long-term effect to them; to the personality, to the confidence, to the way they mannered, to the way they conduct themselves. 


Sincerely I never had a confidence in myself in school, I didn't have the balls to deal with the crowds, or even to do a presentation in front of the class. I would mumble, or trembled like a leaf. I couldn't conduct myself well particularly in crowds. Well I guess that was the effect that lied inside me. I was lucky I was much better now, after a few years. 


Sometimes, when I was moseying around here in my place this time around, I met those punks again. They seemed shocked to look at me being much taller and physically bigger than before, and I am just as tall as them. I had no grudge to hold to them, I still recognize them as one of old friend, so we just greeted each other nicely and exchange stories. Its always nice to see old friends, though they were once wicked old friends >.<

Accents

When you write in English, everybody can grasp the message. But when you speak up, there comes the problems. We Malaysians don't encounter this sort of trouble when we communicate verbally to people in Malaysia using English language, because we don't have that various kinds of English accents. The way we speak, is as what we're being taught in our English classes in schools; to write as a British but to speak like an American. Thats odd, but thats what we've been taught all along. That way.

But in English-speaking countries like U.S.A., Britain, Australia and Canada, though they are communicating using the very same language, not necessarily they will just understand each other. Well, it is all about the accents. American accent and British accent for instance, are distinctively different from each other, and one who are not accustomed with the difference of both accents, can hardly understand them. And we Malaysians, I can say that we're more to American accented, because we're used to their movies, TV programs and whatnot, as they are widely broadcasted on our tubes. 

Have you ever heard a British-accented people speaking? God I can tell you they're like speaking a fair English, but in a classy way. Now I recall one of my friend who used to stay in UK as a kid, he said that British accent is posh, a posh English. Have you ever watched Harry Potter, or Hot Fuzz, or the other British movies? Thats how British accent sounds like. It sounds classy, compared to American-accented English movies. But despite of the differences between the two accents, they're both can still be said to be easily comprehensible. They are still pronouncing words using the correct standard pronunciations of English. An Aussie's accent? Now that one is hard to understand. >.<

Take a look at this video :

Funny as hell, but true anyway. :)

How To Save The World

Simple.

There. The world is saved. Problem? HAHA.

The Science Of Understanding a Girl's Mind

I read John Gray's masterpiece Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus recently. My first impression about the best-selling book is it must be some sort of a fictitious novel, about two races of aliens from two distinctively different planets that was once on denial, but suddenly realized that they both need each other, fall in love, and finally ended by living together in Earth.

But as I went throughout the pages, that thought fled away for like, 180 degrees! =.=

There's no alien stories whatsoever. Just a brief discussion and explanation on how women and men great varies from each other, how they caught in conflicts, and ways to overcome it.

Gray's writings was mostly about psychological facts about both sexes and how they think of each other, so in short, I found it a tad boring. But the issue that Gray brought in his book, I found it quite intriguing. Because all this while, I've always wondered why the opposite sex is so much complicated than mine. I don't think I can ever comprehend their minds; the girls' minds.

This is how a girl's mind looks like:

Am I the only one who think Venusians are this complicated? >.<

The Science of Understanding a Girl's Mind would be the toughest subject ever!

Parthenophobia - Fear Of Girls

I was born in a family where I was surrounded by girls; all my siblings are girls. And you don't have to be at my place to know how that wasn't funny at all, coz as kids that didn't even stepped to school yet, apparently I didn't have anyone else to befriend with or just to play with, just my sisters. And of course as girls they didn't do soccer, catch spiders, gunfights and car chases game, or the other boys' stuffs. They weren't even into those things. So what did they do? Well obviously, they did all those girlish things that have something to do with dolls, pink stuffs and guess what? I used to play them. >.<

You know, I was like hovering above myself and when I looked at myself playing dolls, it really made me nauseous. I really can't believe I did those, but I can do nothing to smother those coz I can't deny the memories. I still got it clear, roaming in my mind, and thats just sick! >.<

Then, when I was 7 and went to my primary school, it turned a new chapter in my life. Yes well, that was the moment when I realized that the were many more BOYS in this world, other than me. As I know I wasn't alone, I felt saved already! 

Screw the dolls, its time for the boys stuffs!

That was the moment I met and got acquainted with lots of boys from all sorts; from the kind, well-mannered to the rascals; the worst ones. That was the moment I was introduced to plastic guns and ammos, soccer game, decks of cards that have the pictures of dinosaurs on them; all the boys stuffs!

And truthfully when I returned back home from school, I was a lil fearful to mingle around with my sisters again. I was afraid I would just lose my "boyish gene" and be like a girl ever again. Doll's no more my friend. No more. =.="

Now when my friends over here ask me about my family and as they discover that I was the only boy amongst my siblings, they often give me the surprised look and said:

"Lucky you're not that "aww" buddy, or else you won't happen to be my friend!"

Indeed, I am lucky. >.<

Exam Zombies

 Ahh.. Here comes the exam seasons! Know what does it means? The rat race had just blazed its trail! This is the moment where people become weirdly conscientious in their studies; staying up all night long like zombies and breaking their bones trying to grasp and memorize something from those thick books, all the time. 

And the next morning they drag themselves into the examination hall and fill all the blanks in the sheet with their heavy eyes, extremely craving for some sleeps. 3 hours later, they race back to their hostel and snored. Everything they read the previous night then, every single thing they had occupied the blanks with in the exam hall, will be erased. The next day, they face another book till dawn for another paper, occupied the blanks with everything they read, and snored. 

And the cycle continued till the last day of exam..

Now here's a couple of questions to ask:

"Getting stuck in the loony system, does it makes the student academically excellent?"

NO! 

"When the result is announced, does the students' CGPA's reflects with their true academic excellence"?

HELL NO!

  

Well, they're not excellent, they're just good in memorizing things. Later on, after the particular papers, everything will be forgotten.

Exam-oriented studies don't create an academically excellent student, they create zombies.

The systems sucks isn't it?  >.<