Thursday, April 12, 2012

Friendship Over Love

Have you ever caught in a situation where you and your friend shared the same crush? Like, suppose you and your friend (and to make things worse, make it your best friend) secretly have this feelings towards the same girl and both of you didn't actually realise it. Then one day, you began to sense something was actually fishy about the way your best friend treated that girl. Soon after, you started the get the big picture as you take a look into his facebook activities (or in short, stalking him), and found he seemed to fancy that girl, as well as you are. 

What you think you would do?

To be frank I personally have no experience over things like this, since it never happened to me. But I do have an experience of handling a misunderstanding between me and one of my friend on things just as the same as this. The slight difference is, I have no feelings to that girl.

"About a year ago, during my foundation programme I was assigned to be in mentor-mentee group with this girl, one of my lecture mate. We were obligated to see our mentor every week and complete every tasks given, sometimes together. Which in short means, I had to stick with her for the whole mentor-mentee programme period. (It lasted for a few months)

This girl, well, I didn't know much about her. We never knew each other before from anywhere before that programme, and even during the programme, I didn't really talked much to her. But after a while, from some of my friends I learnt that the girl who I got to get stuck with for that period, actually have a boyfriend, which  is also a friend of mine. Well I was like, "Oh, I see", but I didn't sweat it because it utterly had nothing to do with me.

There was a day when that girl talked to me, and told me that she is having a problem with her boyfriend. She told me that their relationship is ruining. Well guess why? His boyfriend was jealous coz he often saw us together, but that is not the worst part. Worse, he blindly accused us for having a special relationship, which explained why he never greeted me for the whole semester. 

I was like, "So this whole thing happened coz he was jealous of me being together with her girlfriend, whom I hardly know, and suddenly accused us for having an affair that is starting to ruin their relationship and already kill our friendship ... and I don't even know a thing about this??" 

"And why on earth that he didn't face me personally and let me explain things up, despite of making his own assumptions, accusations and blind anticipations? I'm right here sharing the same hostel with him. It is awful it happened that way coz that thing doesn't even true!" 

The next few months, they broke up, and that girl left the university. But still, thinking of that, it is still painfully awful coz their relationship collapsed over a thing that is not true. Merely, just because of jealousy. How would you feel when suddenly you become the main reason over a ruined relationship, when you actually don't know anything about it? Painfully awful.. "

Back to the top, in a situation where you and one of your friend is in denial coz you both like the same person, I guess it is best for one of you to give in. To me, it is much better that way, than keep antagonising each other for years and ruining the friendship utterly. 

In such cases, "BMW"  always means "Best Man Wins". But it is not you nor your friend who's going to decide who's the best man. It is her decision. Whether you would be the one who give in for the sake of the friendship, or you keep fighting for the girl, she knows who's the best :)


Anonymous said...

he is just bloody blind..good for her la broke up wit him..

zamro said...

sapakah laki tu deli??

everything you define me said...

Anon : True. But I feel sorry for the girl.
Zamro : Well man, thats classified. Ahaha.