Showing posts with label Hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hilarious. Show all posts

Saturday, July 14, 2012

How To Lose Weight Efficiently


Hello everybody. Today I've got some tips for those who are still thinking on how to lose their weight. Products? Lipo-suction treatments? Hunger games? Bloody hell no man! These tips simply based on the concept of, "Drop what you don't need". Well here it is :


1. Remove one of your kidney.
Thats right people! You do know that you can live with just one kidney don't ya? So why the heck do you need to keep both of them, when it is just gonna cost you a few hundred grams? 


2. Poop regularly.
You might say this is kinda gross, but the more you poop, the less weight you will get! Based from a study it is reported that an average daily poop of a human weigh for about 2.5 pounds, and it is funny how you can get rid of 2.5 pounds of your whole body weight everyday just by pooping regularly!


3. Keep a short haircut.
You've read it right dude. From what I've read hair can weigh up to 3.0 ounce an inch, and nobody has an inch of hair pal! So if you're growing long hairs, you're gaining more weight! 


4. Bite your fingernails.
I lied about the biting, you can just cut it off. Do I have to mention about the weigh of the fingernails too?


Thats it dude! If you practice all of these, summing up, you have already lost a few pounds of weight in no time! Daa!



Monday, January 23, 2012

How To Save The World

Simple.




There. The world is saved. Problem? HAHA.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bersih 2.0 : Spongebob's Banned in Malaysia

This yellow creature got to change his color if wanna stay broadcasted in Malaysia. 


LOL!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Don't Mess With Anonymous



In an online game, Plant vs Zombies. There were three players online joining in, me, my worst, good-for-nothing high school friend who stayed just across the street, and an anon.


While playing, we chatted.




Fuad : Hey, great shot man. Smoke that man off already.


Me : Alright. Poww, he's a goner now. :)


Fuad : Yeah, thats a smoke! Great job dude. Hey, speaking about smoke, did you smoke that think I've given you in the class?


Me : That cigars? It was awesome man! It taste like hell, but its really doesn't matter. As long as it makes me looks cool. And macho.


Fuad : Hell yes! Thats my man! It might taste like shit for first timer but sooner you'll feel like you're in heaven. And yeah thats undeniable, it did really makes us look all cool and macho. Besides, thats the one that makes a man.


Me : Yup, I remembered our philosophy. "A man is a boy with a cigar."


Fuad : Right! 




By the time the anon stroke our soldiers and blast them off.




Fuad : Hey! That anon killed our comrades already! What the hell!


Me : Yea! Lets kill him rightaway!


Anon : You might kill me once, but I'm assuring that you'll die twice.


Me : And why the hell is I'm gonna die twice? I got only one profile here YOU TWAT!


Anon : First I'll kill you here, then you'll be killed at home.


Me : What? Now why am I gonna die at home??


Anon : I'll tell you why. First, for smoking cigarettes. Second, for misusing the money to buy cigars, from a jerky friend..


Fuad : Heyy!!!


Anon : .. and third, for calling YOUR FATHER A TWAT.




................




-me and fuad is now offline-




*don't mess with anonymous. It could be anyone.
*parents are tricky. Don't mess with them either. 
*smoking doesn't makes you look macho nor cool. It gave you cancer.
*there are no soldiers or comrades involved in Plant vs Zombies.
*this wasn't about me. I ain't a smoker, and I don't do those things =.="

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Are You Cool?





Everyone must have their own distinctive way on how they define the term "cool" in themselves, right? On the first place, this isn't the one that has something to do with degree Celsius okay. Naive :D

I found it is sometimes conspicuous on how myself deal with cool people. I'll be by any chance try to get acquainted with them. If you found me sometimes be nice to you in a very awkward time, like you don't know me but suddenly bumped into me and I slightly treated you so freaking nice as you have been knowing me for years, you must be one of them too! Huhu!

These kind of persons are seems to be so cool to me! Are you in? :D

1. People who read/ followed my blog but didn't leave any trace, like in the Chatbox or commented on the posts.     
For some strange reasons I don't know why I think they're so cool. I'll be contemplating to search these peoples and try to befriend with them then. Sounds odd, right? But I do think they're cool, you know, they did visit my blog and read it, but they left no links nor comments for me to visit them too, its like, they didn't really mind whether their visits are replied by another visit by me, or even known or not. They're like, so cool! Hehe. Look how weird I am. BUMMER. 

2. People who contributed a worthy idea in a very short comment. 
These people, to me, know exactly how to express a good idea without miles of explanation. They got a very bright idea, and just by leaving a short comment, left me ponder to think how true it was. That was a very cool comment, by a very cool people :)

3. People who wrote a very brilliant quote in his/her status update on Facebook. It could be amusing too.
I love to read quotes, most specially like a brainy quote that reading it is worthwhile, and funny jokes that could make me laugh, thinking how silly it was. The best status update I've read ever on Facebook is:

"Everyone can quit smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer."

Haha. Amusing, and it made me think too. Well, this must be quoted from a very wise, heavy smoker. What a perfect reason to count on for not quitting smoking cigarettes. Damn it was so cool. 

And you know who wrote this as his status update? Me! Hahaha. Damn I was very cool! Hehe. But I ain't a smoker kayh! :)

4. Everyone who preferred to be single.
Yup, being single is cool! Its not like he's/she's such a loner, just they preferred it is way better to stay single. And they did everything on their own, a very independent and need not to cling to anyone to settle their own business. Its like, they can survive on their own. These guys are some kind of cool to me too :D

So literally everyone who has couple is never in my 'cool buddy' list at all. Hehe.

5. Every blog that delivers bright ideas.
I don't care who are the author, where he came from, in what language he wrote his posts or whatsoever that might sound like "judging a book from its cover", as long as his ideas aren't too preposterous to retrieve and he's not writing craps and junks, he's always on the list. Anyway, even if I want it too, I can't. He's obviously not a book for me to judge his cover. Burned. Okay, thats a crap.

6. Authors for English blogs in which he/she really have a remarkable flair in English.
Great, isn't it? I really love to read English articles, essays and poems written by amateurs in blogs. Its just very much genuine ideas and real creative. Here's a cool blog I really admires for its awesome literary, poetic posts. Plus the author really got tonnes of vocabs! Superb! 


acoysmoke.blogspot.com

7. People who prefer to remain silent unless it is necessary for him to speak. 
He's cool coz his action speaks louder than words. Even in a situation in which people accused him, or he's being blamed for something he didn't commit, he stay cool and rather not to speak confrontational words to back himself up. He kept his temper smothered from everyone despite of the pressure he faced. But when he speak, that'll be a roar of a lion, and everyone shall listen to him. He got a respect for his voice. Amazing isn't it? Well, it sounds just like my father. :)


8. Unsung heroes.
Hell yes, this are real cool guys! Patriots, most particularly nationalism fighters who stands for the country when everyone yield away, sacrificed himself fighting alone till he fall down. I don't know who are they, but  believe there must be some national fighters who we didn't actually even realized they existed. And their deaths are unknown too, proving that they're not fighting, sacrificing, and dying for names and fame.. Yea, patriots were cool :)

9. Me.
Hahahahahahahahaha.. I'm cool, aren't I? The only time I don't feel cool was when I got hit by dengue fever. My body temperature was reaching 40 degree celcius, and that weren't cool at all! Hahaha. Okay, crap again! =.="


(and now it is suddenly about degree celcius! Ok, my bad. =.=")


Well I guess thats all. Amongst all those cool people I stated above, can you spot what they all have in common? Well?


What they got in common is, all of them got nothing in common! Hahaha! Got yaa.


Okay, knock it off. I think I'm starting to talk craps now. Huhu. 




Cheerio!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Obama Avenged Berlusconi

Seriously, Mr. President have a sense of jealousy too.




He's seriously demented. HAHA.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Hilarious Statuses on Facebook

This is the last post from me before I leave for my campus in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan DK. If after this I don't update this blog for quite a time, I'm probably being very busy on my schedule, and I'm sorry. But I'll try to find a time to say something okay? :)

These are some of the funny statuses I found. Sharing is caring right? :)








 







Hehe. Just for laugh!









Thursday, February 3, 2011

Pros, Cons and Superlatives

I gotta admit it, I love reading strips like this! Especially when it did tells you something and makes you think. Here's some situations for you :)





Ha! Ha! Ha!


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sunglass And People

How do glasses help you to classify people?



Does a sunglass makes you something? Put one on!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Punctuation Is Powerful!

Punctuation can make a world of difference! So have a respect :)




Now you know why punctuation error is one of the offence that could grade you down to C in your English paper.. =.=

Why Durians Are The Strongest Fruit On Earth?

Why durians are said to be the strongest fruit amongst others? Way to think;



Strong shells? NOPE. Coconut's shells are obviously harder.

Big-sized? NOPE. They surely can't beat watermelons in size.

Extreme survival? NOPE. They can't live in insufficiency of water.

Sweet taste? A BIG NOPE. And why the hell is it taste got matter with this? Go away!






So why? Well..








Can't you see the 6 packs??
Hehe..


Nice Push Ups Eh?




*facepalm